Here I am lost... Emotions all over the damn place. Me though? How in the hell could this happen to me yo? To some its not a big deal....especially to the pimps, playa, hoes and all those in between. So my bestfriend did some grimey stuff yo.
Some I just wanna beat somebody azz to make me feel better type stuff. Now me this girl pretty damn tight ya digg. We constantly telling people we don't date and shi like that ya know. My friends keep telling me to ask her out and shi like that. "Nate, you claim you love her so u might as well go for it." Shut the fuk up. See back in the day me and her was on my mind all time. At first niccahs didnt care, then they started noticing me caring wen dey talked her down around me...which use to happen a lot. So people started noticing me spending mo time wit dis girl and question marks started flying. Alot people kept saying..."awwwww yall look cute together", "How long yall been dating", "aaawwwww" and den others were like, "You fuk yet?" "Nate, you could do alot better", "Nate you whipped", "You just another niccah" and ish like that. Me being the man I am, I look past the negative things and try to keep a clear mind. I'm not saying I don't have second thoughts or anything...Im not dumb. When you 50 people telling you one thing and she telling you another...that "WHO YOU GONNA BELIEVE?" question pops up. So far I've been taking her side. Really not giving a damn what others think...but caring at the same time ya know. So far I haven't had a concrete reason to believe what others said ya know....until Tuesday. See....loves a byatch. I dont wanna go into details, but dis trick actually hurt a niccah emotionally you dig. Dammit, I'm Nate Smith, no way and hell Im let some female hurt me...SIKE. Now, Im questioning all the shit I been hearing. I always had good hunch, but I refused to believe it ya know. Wen you love a girl for who they are you dont question the stuff they did. They claim they wanna change and ish, so all you do is be there for them and help out ya know. I mean....thats what friends are for right? But after Tuesday...its like...what the hell have I been seeing? What the hell have I been doing? I'm I just another guy in her phone book.? I mean she claims she love...soooo. But then again....people that love each other do that shit all the time now 'a' days. I mean....if she was like that and I knew...hey I wouldn't give a damn, but wen you lie to me....oh hell naw. I have plenty of female friends who are, hoes, pimps and playas. Erbody else may not know, but I do as well as they do. Ya boy anint dumb wen it comes to relationships and ish like that. I mean...all the hints are there ya know. All the male friends she claims she hates, she still tends to hang around them ya know....come on now? Are you fukn stupid? They got something you want...and its sure isnt damn charming smile. She knows they call her a hoe and see her as a hoe....yet she wants their company? Hmmmmmmmm???? NO WONDER WE CAN'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP!!! She so caught up with these other niccahs...no telling who. You got Sterling, myspace and the rest of the world....Im just that guy that loves her and will always be there for her. So in the mean time she can mess with who she wants, knowing no matter what she does she can always coming back to Nate. Im just another niccah huh?....
YET....I find myself constantly not wanting to believe ya know. Even at the same time I think...what if its true? I would def be there for her, but a relationship? She got some worrrrrrk to do. When i look at her I dont see a girl like that. I see her without the burden of being labeled as a hoe. I see her for her. I see where my love was invested ya know, not wasted. I want the best for her...but my efforts are useless if she doesnt want to better herself ya know. Sometimes I feel as if she's holding me back from other relationships, yet Im not in a rush to move on. Now Im in love with two girls....maybe being on the ice is where I need to be...or maybe I should put my respect for females on hold and stop being that nice guy so I can get my dick wet. Shi...take my card, Ill be your personal hoe. I know plenty of females who want it...well not plenty..but a definite few. Yet again, I wanna be different
I could write all night....
IM DONE

-Nate Smith aka The Truth